I must admit, that I still yearn for it.
Even today as I browse through photos, there is a sense of nostalgia, loss, and perhaps a twinge of disappointment and reproach (towards myself).
Perhaps I could have tried harder? Pushed for more? Perhaps if I could just believe... and not given it all up?
But it's better this way isn't it?
Rather than drag everyone down with my incapabilities and insecurities, leaving was the better of two evils.
I'm still proud of the memories, learning points, and experiences shared, but sometimes, I guess what I really wanted was to know that I was just as important as the rest.
Because it sure stinks to be a backup plan, a spare tyre, or a second thought.
Oh, but hey, my first day at work was rather pleasant. Let's hope it stays this way. :)
you will never be a spare tyre dear, you are so lean and fit! hahaha (: i'm so smart to point that out! you will never be a second thought too, cause your presence haunts and lingers around others! and backup plan? don't worry, that isn't you too! you are an egg plan..t!
ReplyDeleteSO TIRED!!
guan yin ma
IM MISSING MISSING MISSING YOU MY DEARIE!!!! shall we meet this saturday to rollerblade or smth? go westcoast? :)
ReplyDeleteGYM: HAHAHAHHA did u realise your initials are GYM? lets go gym, GYM! :D i already have a spare tyre so please let's go exercise!!! HAHA. you are hilarious. thanks for making me smileeeee :D
ReplyDeletei am an eggplant! hee. :)
jolene: HELLO BABEEEEEEEBALICIOUS. hahaha. i miss you too! sorry for not being able to meet up this week! i need time to adjust. i'm so burnt out and dead beat from work! :( u take care okie. let's share our hotties!!! meet up nxt week!
ReplyDelete