Some people just remain so far away and distant no matter how hard I try. It's painful and disheartening to see a friendship being reduced to this dismal state. But I've tried my best in my capacity as a friend, and it's tiring to be taken for granted time and again. It's tiring to show concern and be supportive when you know that this gesture is simply a one-way street.
If I could be less selfish, perhaps I can keep the people I love all by my side because then I wouldn't flare up when I'm feeling this way. But the truth is, I am selfish. I want to be wanted and needed too. I want to be cared for too. I want things to happen the other way round, instead of what we've become accustomed to. I want to be missed, thought of, and loved the same way I missed, thought of, and loved you. But no can do.
I am not angry; just heartbroken. I still care, but time and again, I've been let down one time too many.
And I learnt my lesson the hard way. That it is better to depend on myself and no one else for that matter.
Cause when I stood up and took my leave, I realised I've been a fool all along, seeing how it didn't even matter to you. This is now clear in my heart, and I will never be that fool again.
It happened once, twice, thrice. And with different people too.
So maybe what I'm really best at is pushing people out of my life.
It happened with him, him, her, her, her, him and maybe soon it'll be your turn.
Go away before I bite.
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